FEBUARY 2013

Sunbirds - Mixed media experiment - Heading in this direction. This pic was snapped out of my sketchbook

gouache paint with archival gels and tulle - taken from the sketchbook

Right now I'm sitting in front of my computer at home spitting out blood. It tastes like I have a chunk of raw beef in my mouth. My jaws have started to roar as they wake to the realisation that their wisdom teeth are missing. The dentist informed me to not do anything too strenuous this afternoon, so I thought I'd take time out to let you in on what's going on before I have to start thinking about preparing a dinner that will fit through a straw.

Ok, so, you don't know a lot about me. In a way that's exactly the way I wanted it to be. I was comfortable with that. When it comes to sharing on the Internet - or sharing words and thoughts to be more precise - I'm a bit of a secretive creature, always liking to play with my cards held close to my chest. It wasn't really deliberate or calculated so much as phobic self consciousness. The problem, I think, was that I felt like a small, indecisive and naive kid in a big, scary, intimidating adults world. 

I'm growing up. I know what to do. I now have to do it and this time I know I can and have more ideas as to how. I really had no idea for a long time. It was a great mystery of my life - making this all work.

I have a plan. My master plan.  You see, I am not represented by any gallery. This is mostly my own fault for not confidently forging ahead with my work, for doubting myself, my ability to create. For thinking time and again that I am not ready yet, I'm not ready yet, its not perfect, I cant do it, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what to do. And it was all true.... at that time. 

I've had to grow at my own pace. Everyone is different. I'm ready to share myself with you now;-)

Actually I'm starting to like the idea of running the entire show on my own now. I get to be face to face with amazing people, my collectors, my likers, my friends. Why would I want to miss out on that? They/you are a very cool and interesting bunch of people. Art lovers are different to others. It's very hard not to love you back!